I got to rub gritty faeces into both of my eyes last night by sitting down and watching Paul W.S Andersons remake of Roger Cormans seminal 1973 road movie Death Race 2000.
How this guy continues to get directing gigs i will never know, he has taken something that was brilliant and highly prophetic a roaring road nightmare, shone through the lunatic prism of the Wacky races (reality T.V, the cult of celebrity our obsessions with sex, death and automobiles, religious fanatisism and world leaders with messianic delusions) and drizzled it out of his arse.
Where was the glamour? where was the insanity? the blood? the laughs?
The original was a deranged cartoon, bubbling with energy and totally mad ideas, brilliant characters and an unapologetic streak of real subversive anarchy and mister Anderson and Universal have churned out a bland, generic by the numbers movie that wouldnt have looked out of place in the blatant rip off section of your local video store thirty years ago.
There was a little film doing the rounds in 1982 that went by the name of Mad Max 2, you might have heard of it? Im sure mister Anderson has.... his cinematic effort was lacking a twentieth of the power that film has and continues to exert on anyone who watches it, the ultimate futuristic road movie, a film that stands up to repeated viewings and whose power is not diminished by those viewings, something that this tawdry remake almost failed to manage once!
It was the cinematic equivalent to suffering two hours of erectile disfunction.
You might enjoy it if your recovering from a total lobotomy or your five years old and theres nothing better showing on Cartoon network.
Its saving graces?
Joan Allen, Hollywoods ultimate Milf, strutting around in killer heels
and Jason Statham... he will make a great Judge Dredd.

I was watching "Natures great events" on BBC1 on wednesday night which concentrated on the plight of drowning/starving Polar bears due to global warming and a solution to this problem came to me, why dont we feed these innocent carnivores our dead?
After all its our fault they are in this predicament, we have known that the ice caps are melting due to human pollution for the better part of three decades and now its happening before our eyes at such a speed that even those members of the populace in denial over it would be really hard pushed to forward a decent argument to the contrary.
A couple of thousand corpses should be more than enough these could be prepared and kept on ice until thay can be airlifted en masse to be scattered across the bears feeding grounds.
The Parsi people of Mumbai have been doing it for centuries, leaving their dead to birds of carrion as a final act of generosity and the Argentinian government were in the practice of dumping the remains of political prisoners into Shark infested waters not too long ago ,in fact those responsible for those crimes could be put to work dealing with the more grisly apsects of my proposed venture, using their years of experience in a legitimate fashion.
If this idea unreasonable or repellent to you just think about it the next time your jetting off to foriegn climes on holiday....you owe these creatures.

Heres a poster i did for the next issue of Dave Wests Strange times comic book, if you havent already seen them go look at http:www.accentukcomics.com/
He is a smallpress genius who works in a style thats reminiscent of Alan Moores early Future shocks for 2000ad cross pollinated with the suburban lunacy of Douglas Adams.
Each issue contains interconnected stories that all have an archetypally English air of apolcalyptic whimsy.
I cant recommend them highly enough.

A couple of pieces i did several years back for two local bands.
First was a sticker design done for a band called Seethe, who were doom metal merchants with some serious sabbathesque riffage going on.
And the other is Fingerbang a free piece I did for a bunch of kids called Desperate cycle who were a real solid Punk band (though none of them were even an itch in their Daddies pants when punk was happening but thats no bad thing.) their sound and name just pulled the image straight from my head fully formed to the paper.
Neither design was used HA! HA!

Heres the first page of a strip i put together this year for the Accentuk guys Western special called Fistful of corpsemeat, in which a small town is plagued by a flesh hungry gang of ghouls who are chased down by a cowboy from hell.
Its "the Evil dead" meets "Paint your wagon".

At some point i will put some of those aforementioned Goth upsetting flyers up.
In the meantime here are a few bits of my harder work for whoever looks at this stuff, to enjoy, admire, get upset or be totally unmoved by.